Lifeless...

Until today, i couldn't believed that we had broke up. Not even a bit. I think about you everyday, everynight. Everyone include YOU asked me to let it go, let it go. How could i do that? I tried every single way to release my stress, none of it works. I try my best to ask to give me one more chance but you keep denied. Right now, I still believe you are still in love with me, i really believe but i think the problem is not me and you anymore. I strongly believe, its definitely regard to your parents. I have lost all my ideas, being together with me, its our problem, why should it related or bond with our families? Why should you let your familes to decide everything?

Maybe its truth, after few weeks of considerate, i feel that i couldn't blame anyone. Which parents would like their precious daughter to date a fucking douche bag like me. Like that THEY said, i am super duper playful, i wont even think about my future. Right now, i had lost all my direction, i dunno what to do next. I get sohai result for my A level, i lost my love one. Right now, i lost both of it, i don have quota to debate with ur parents anymore, they totally wouldn't like me to appear in ur life again. I really hope you will be with right now cause i know, you are the only one that can inspire me, who can motivate me.

I keep thinking when i was in KK, taking my sohai result. Will my result be better if you choose to study in KK? I think yes, before that, when i was in my secondary school, you will always do revision with me, study with me, even make me express notes. I wouldn't be so playful if you are there, you surely gonna control me. However, i dont feel regret or shit because i really learn a lot when i was in kk, i got a lot of good friends, close friends. But this time, i really lost a lot, a lot, a lot..

Looking at ur fb, but wouldn't dare to leave a single shit comment. Looking at ur photo, but dont even dare to text or call you. I really miss you a lot. I dunno whether you still remember me, or think about me or not. I dunno why, i feel that you are in love, or got feel with other guy right now, or maybe i'm think too fucking much. I'm feel jealous of envy for those guys who can talk to you, can share every single shit with you, even good thing or bad thing. You seems like very happy to talk with them. Unlike me, everything you look at me, or talk to me, you look stressful, unhappy, crying.

Right now, i still hope i can be with you, i really dont wan to be alone, but i wont dare to ask you anymore, i'm no one to you, you got a lot of better choice in front of me. Will smoking helps? I really got the temptation to smoke right now because i'm really stressful. Love, Studies even families. Friends who know me well knew that i got a god damn sohai bros. My parents keep ask me to save him up from not studying. Right now, what i can tell them is, i cant even save myself.